Pathological Liar

“The truth doesn’t cost anything, but a lie could cost you everything.”

What is a Pathological Liar?

I know some of you already heard this word, maybe some of you are also a pathological liar… A pathological liar is a person who lies compulsively and without clear motive. This is very different with a nonpathological liar, whereas the lie is very beneficial and maybe less harmful.

A pathological liar lie so they can become the hero or the victim of the story to save face. They also lie so they can grab people’s attention or be accepted within a group of people. 

You might be asking… “Why are you telling me this topic?

Because I’m also one of those pathological liars. I’m writing this topic because I wanted to help people become aware of themselves, especially when they start feeling comfortable lying all the time.

I started lying compulsively about 3 or 4 months ago. I think having a rough childhood played a role for being a pathological liar.

Did you get bullied in school? Lose a loved one? Suffered from an abusive parents and siblings? Or maybe you’ve experienced a toxic relationship?… I’ve experienced two of this problems that’s why I started lying. I did that because I don’t want to feel weak again, even though I know the consequences of it. 

In my experience of being a pathological liar, I have to tell you that it’s fun at first: grabbing people’s attention, feeling superior, and feeling powerful… Until thankfully, one of my friends pointed out my mistakes and made me woke up from the lies that my life are always revolving. 

After getting a reality check, I saw the damage that I did, and I also hurt a dear friend because of my lies: lying about having a cancer, lying about being in a relationship, and I even lied about my own success… After one of my friends opened my eyes, I start to feel very very guilty. I was ashame and I start hating myself for doing it, I feel like I don’t wanna go outside ever again. I couldn’t even promise to all of my friends that I’ll never lie again. But instead of handing my promises to them, I made a promise to myself instead.

I’m in the road to recovery now by starting with me. I know it’s gonna be a tough road because 4 months of lying is a long month deceiving people, but I promise myself that things will going to change so I’m fixing every damage little by little. I started by telling some of my trusted friends the truth, and I’m practicing self honesty.

There are 5 stages that you will go through before you make a full recovery:

  • Denial 
  • Anger
  • Bargaining 
  • Depression
  • Acceptance

I’m on the anger stage now… I’m not angry at anyone, I’m not angry at my friend who brought me back to reality. I’m angry at myself because right from the start, I know that I’m doing the wrong thing. But instead of stopping, I just ignored those feelings and just continue telling all those lies.

So, how would you know that you are a pathological liar?

You don’t… You will only know it when someone said it to you. It’s really hard to accept it at first but if you don’t, then you’re going to hurt more people. 

But there is some ways to avoid turning into a pathological liar:

  • Being self-aware 
  • Think before you speak
  • Moving on from your past
  • Love yourself

Being self-aware 

Self-awareness

Self-awareness is knowing one’s own personality and individuality. Practicing self-awareness can help decrease the chances of you lying to people because you’ll be more conscious of doing it. With that, you’ll maintain more control over your own decisions and words of choice. 

Think before you speak

Think before you speak.

This is a really good habit to practice because you can avoid hurting people, and also yourself. When you don’t think before you speak, you’ll end up damaging your relationships with people, let alone your career.

Moving on from your past

Move on.

Like I said earlier, a rough childhood played a role with being a pathological liar. A bad experience can make you lie about thing so that people can accept you or there’s someone you love that you fear that he or she will leave you. But lying isn’t the answer.

Forgive the past little by little, and focus on what’s happening right now. Remember, people come and go. 

Love yourself

Love yourself.

I know it’s sounds cliche, but hear me out. If you keep don’t love yourself then there’s no doubt you’ll lie about things over and over again. So start loving more of yourself, your mental health will also thank you for it. Be more kind and accepting to yourself, and stop comparing yourself to others. Each and everyone of us are unique in our own way. 

Conclusion:

People always say… “Liars will never change.” … They’re wrong, liars can change. The decision of change is within ourselves, if we really wanna change for the better then we will work really hard to improve ourselves.

This is the end of the blog and I hope you learn something from it. Thank you so much, leave a comment below to share your own opinions and experiences.

Breakfast at my House

During the week we’re often walking out the door with a coffee in one hand and slice of toast in the other, but on weekends breakfast is never rushed. It’s a late affair, sometimes spilling over to lunch, with lots of reading and chatter in between courses of fruits, poached eggs, honey and toast. One of our favorite things we like to serve when friends are visiting are buckwheat blueberry pancakes.